there’s nothing quite like audible screams and the sound of sharp metal to make you (i.e. me) feel uneasy on an otherwise nondescript day. this past weekend, while alone in my house built for two (or twelve by tanzanian standards), i was cleaning up after a dinner of bread and soup when i started to hear loud voices coming from next door, specifically the mtindaji’s (village leader) house. after a half hour of listening, i came to the conclusion that the scuffle had less to do with the monthly water payment day (which is generally accompanied by audible frustration) and more to do with an actual problem. thus, i ventured outside to inquire as to its catalyst … and it was then that I noticed the entire town of kwakiliga looking anxious and angry, with the mtindaji himself yelling “ngoja! ngoja! basi kilele” or “wait! wait! stop the noise”. wanting to investigate, but ever so aware of my presence as the token white person in the community, i opted not to involve myself in something that clearly seemed like a village affair … and instead awkwardly stood a good 20 feet away and eavesdropped. two ladies were standing at a distance and i asked for the lo-down. here’s what they explained: earlier that evening, the town “crazy” (i hadn’t realized we had one) was involved in a skirmish over a jackfruit with a small child. it ended badly … the kid suffered a severe cut on the forearm inflicted by “crazy’s” machete. they sent the child promptly to the hospital, but the townspeople continued to argue over the best way to handle to problem at hand, a discussion that continued through the next morning. the women were extremely agitated and highly vocal (which is saying something in light of their already well exercised vocal chords). the men were calm, collected, and seemingly in charge (though indoors, out of view of the women and in the company of the mtindaji). 
it was a few hours later that i started first hearing laughter, then screaming, and then metal clanking noises emanating from next door. peering out of my bedroom window, my jaw dropped when i saw “crazy” waving a machete in the air and slowly backing away from the house, hitting the ground with the machete to stop people from approaching. some people stood at the periphery and laughed, mothers grabbed their children and ran screaming, but one woman named shida looked “crazy” straight in the eye and didn’t so much as waver when he threatened her with the knife. after braving several swipes like a west side story knife fight, she finally motioned for him to stab her through the heart, which made him hesitate for just long enough to tackle him like a linebacker … straight to the ground. a bunch of onlookers joined the dog pile and eventually removed the machete from his hand … all of which i watched with mouth agape. apparently friction was in the air, because it wasn’t more than 40 feet away that i noticed another skirmish in which several townspeople were following a teenage masai herder with seemingly angered intent. they began to slap him with open hands, then punch more aggressively, at which point he bolted from the center of the group and ran away with 20 people hot on his heels … his masai plaid fabric left behind. i later learned that his cattle had knocked over the town’s only motorcycle and they wanted retribution for the damage, or perhaps acknowledgment of the event. apparently words weren’t enough to absolve the argument.
i hope in writing this you see it as i do: shocking yet comedy. culture operates differently here. people see threats to their livelihoods, their safe little enclave, their family’s well-being, and they take matters into their own hands … often collectively. it happens with theft (i.e. never yell “thief” to a crowd or you risk feeling responsible for said villain’s pummel … or worse). and yes, from a western perspective this is vicious and callous, but remember that is a western perspective. can you fault a cultural response mechanism if a group of people doesn’t know any other way to respond? consider this: when i spoke to shida the following day and commented that she was fearless when it came to battling “crazy” and his machete, she literally said “they teach you that in school”. i can’t say with any certainty if this is true … but i can attest, first hand, to the fact that she handled him with more ease than any westerner I know would’ve. and THAT makes me sleep soundly.
